“I have always told my husband that however Mother’s Day “went down” would be a direct indicator of what Father’s Day would look like. We do have that advantage with Mother’s Day being first.” – Wife of a Pilot

Several weeks ago I asked a group of pilot wives what they wanted for Mother’s Day. After reading their answers, there was one common bond between all of us: appreciation, love and the chance to relax.

Here are the Top 5 ideal gifts that PW’s dream of —

1.  A day off to enjoy going to a  spa

A day to relax, me, myself, and I.  This was a first class dream for the majority of wives.

Is it too much to ask that we want “me” time to relish in quiet and finish a thought? Or have a massage with scented oils that relive some of the stressful knots in our shoulders or arms from picking up toys and little people?

Right now, I dream of a spa day! I have an aching knot that is throbbing intensely from the stress of a teenager, from sitting at the computer, and from selling our house in Florida. Need I go on?

2.  A chance to work in the yard and putter around

Being able to plant and play in the garden was another popular request several wives posted.  “Oh, the eternal hope and promise of a seed,” one wife noted. As  I become older and witness my children maturing into adulthood, there is something about the promise of a seed (child) and watching it grow.

For me, I would love for the stupid squirrels to stop eating my precious flowers. Thanks to these invaders, the flowers I planted a few months ago are half chewed on or dug up from the squirrels thinking there are nuts are in the soil.

3. Vacation by myself

Vacation all by myself? Is that possible?

One PW stated that she was going camping with her son.  We all chimed in that she would receive the Mother’s Day reward! It’s a semi-vacation by yourself.  Another wife commented, “Well, maybe with an air mattress, a down comforter and a bottle of Veuve Cliquot.”

I loved this idea from a girlfriend, “Every Mother’s Day I only want a night away with my other mommy friends at a hotel – a full 24 hours off! It’s the best, and I look forward to it every year!!” Now that’s a gift!

Just last week for our anniversary, my husband and I took a weekend trip to the hill country and stayed at a B&B. I almost told him to leave me here after our time together so I could write and enjoy the birds chirping and the sights and colors of the wildflowers. Of course not having a teenager argue with me about taking out the trash, or having the dog following me to go out to use the restroom, would also be a vacation benefit.  Side note: I do have a great teenager, he’s just a teenager.

4. House cleaned and organized

If you’re like me, I love a clean and organized house. When I had little ones running around the house, the most important Mother’s Day gift for me was to have a neat and tidy home.

Clearly, I’m not the only one. One overworked and weary wife flew in with, “I want my house to stay spotlessly clean (without me doing it) for an entire week!”  Another one cried, “I just want the lines in our carpet to resemble I vacuumed. Is that asking too much?” There was one wife who pushed the called button and said she would love to have her husband send a cleaning lady and a professional cook for the days when he’s away.

Personally, I would just like my teenager to stop wiping his hands on the railing as he goes up the stairs to his room. Or have a meeting of the minds with the dust bunnies to stop leaving their mark on my floor. I also have issues with an unorganized closet, drawers, and kitchen pantry. I have a friend that is an organizer by trade, and she recommended that I go online to napo.net to get some awesome advice and ideas.  I’ll do that after my massage.

5. Spend the day with my family

While it’s not always a popular choice for moms, it can have its own reward.

A PW friend shared with me a heartwarming Mother’s day moment with her family, “One financially lean year when my husband was gone, I gave each child 3 dollars and drove to the dollar store. I waited in the car. They came out so proud!!!!! They each picked out some trinkets, and the cashier lady even threw in a balloon. It was probably the most precious Mother’s Day. Brings a tear to my eye today. They were five and nine years old.” I don’t know about you but receiving a handmade or thoughtful gift from your kids is priceless.

I have been a mother of 3 incredible kids and one special little boy that came into our lives for a just a few years.  As I think about Mother’s day I just have to remind myself that I’m a good mom. I’m not a great mom. I make mistakes. Who doesn’t? But when I see my children smile, bring me a homemade card or gift or just want to sit in my lap, I can’t help but feel that is the best gift of all. 

My friends, may you have a beautiful Mothers Day.  I hope you get your house cleaned and organized (even it’s just for a day or two), the chance to putter around or plan a trip just for you, and above all, to spend time with those you love and who allow you to wear the title, Mom.

Love for you to hop on over and join  The Takeoff and Landings Facebook  page.

I, ____________________, take you, _______________, to be my lawfully wedded pilot, to have and hold, from this day forward, in turbulence and delays, for richer and for first-year pay, in sickness when you are gone or home, and in health until either you or I take off to the pearly gates.

I also do solemnly swear to be your one and only pilot wife.

I promise to remember:

To take your uniforms to be pressed or to wash and iron when ready for departure.

How to get around in a new city and remember to always to have my passport updated as well as our kids.

The names of the airport abbreviations as well as military time.

That the only constant thing in our life is flexibility on both our parts.

That it’s me that sets the mood for your arrival and departure.

I promise to follow:

You in an airport terminal cause you know where to go.

You to the tropical islands when you say let’s go.

You if or when you choose to live close to the airport to reduce commuting.

Your lead when there is a sudden change in reroutes or flight plans that will affect our family.

I promise to remind you:

Of important dates when I would like you to be home for.

 Not to forget your work badge/headphones/ and jacket if needed.

About birthdays, anniversaries, or other special memories that are coming up.

I’m not here to pack our unpack your bag. (unless asked)

I love you regardless that you put your towel on the floor, leave your suitcase in an area where I trip on it, or you forget food on the counter cause you are in a hurry to get to work.

That sometimes life is not a check-list.

I promise to try to:

Make friends for me and find couples that we can go out with.

Be more patient when appliances break when you’re gone or I have to go to the emergency room by myself for a child’s sprained or broken ligament.

Be flexible when you call to say you have been delayed or detoured or got called out unexpectedly.

Keep focused on the positive instead of the negative.

Be understanding and not get over excited if something happened at work. I need to listen when you need to talk. And let you work through the situation. 

I promise to wait:

For you to come home later than expected.

For your schedule to come out, so I know when you will be gone, but also know that it might change.

 To talk to you about important things that need your attention until you have arrived home and had a chance to reconnect.

To hear from you’ after you’ve landed the plane and arrived safely at your hotel.

 For that kiss with potential(4-second kiss) all over again.

I promise to live:

Within our means your first year with the airlines.

With your suitcase always out and your travel bag of personal items on the bathroom counter.

With a piece of furniture that you like and that makes you feel at home.

With you wanting to come home and wipe the kitchen counter or just piddling to reconnect with the family.

With the understanding that as a pilot you are a man of routine and like to have to control (over some things) but that’s what makes you a good pilot.

*A life of my own; to find a passion that will give me a feeling of independence and confidence.

I promise to be there:

For when you need to talk about your frustrating day or you encounter an unexpected delay while at work.

For the kids when you are gone.

To leave something to eat for you on those late arrivals coming home.

For those times that you need me home at a certain time for a delivery or appointment that you arranged, but are unable to make because of work.

I promise to love:

For the life, we created together, not the life we think it should be or left behind.

For your integrity and strength and passion for life, not your uniform.

For who you are today, not who I want you to be.

What would you add to a Pilot’s Wife vow?  Leave a comment below.

Love for you to hop on over and join  The Takeoff and Landings Facebook  page.

My sergeant shoe of parenting

In the span of twenty-four hours my life had made a sudden detour. A  season of motherhood that I’d not expected, when a 2yr old little boy entered my life. It was a trip that I hadn’t been prepared for, much less packed.

What happened?

Jeff and I  were asked if we could take in a family member’s son. They were finically unstable to offer the care and responsibility of raising their son. We told them that we were willing to help and our home was his home until they could get back on their feet to properly care for him.

Instantly, I was in a season of raising my two teenage daughters and son but also a young boy who came with a lot of emotional baggage for a child his age.

Opening our hearts and home to this child came with unexpected challenges and health issues that needed to be addressed.  Most importantly, we needed to establish security and a stable environment for him

I knew exactly which shoe would be required for this new stage of our lives. I headed straight to my closet to grab my military boots. Sergeant Mom had arrived.

I didn’t pick out the shoe of discipline

A short time after the lasted addition to our family arrived, I was on my way home from grocery shopping. I was frustrated, overwhelmed and at my wit’s end from dealing with all my kids.   As usual, Jeff had been on a trip.

As I was getting into my car, my mom called.  She asked how the kids and I were doing. Within seconds of her asking, I started crying. Just not your typical cry, I was sobbing.

I was upset about a lot of things. Upset that this whole parenting thing was not something I signed up for.  I didn’t want to wear my Sergeant Mom boots all the time. I didn’t want the added parental challenge of potty training, establishing bedtime routines,  or teaching someone how to bathe and brush his teeth. I had already flown that trip three times.

I was tired.

Raising four children and being married to a pilot who travels, requires discipline and order. I FELT it was MY job as a mom to establish that.

When you look up the word discipline in the dictionary, you’ll see some common words next to it: control, training, routine, and respect. Reading those words reminded me of how I expect those attributes in my own life and children.

1. Control – I want to control how things will be when my husband is gone, including bedtime, behavior, chores, and our schedule.

2. Training- I want to train them to clean their room, be nice to each other, etc.

3. Routine- I want  to establish  morning, afternoon, and bedtime routines

4.Respect-  I want respect for each other’s things importantly, for me as a parent.

Did you notice the I’s above? I want. I need. I don’t.  It wasn’t about me. It was about God who had placed this little boy in my life to care for him, love him, bring stability and routine to his life that only I could do.

There is a verse in the Bible that comes to mind, and I love how it reads in the Message,

“Point your kids in the right direction— when they’re old, they won’t be lost.” Proverbs 22-6 MSG

Isn’t that what we are trying to do? Pointing them as to where to go so that they won’t get lost. 

As a mom, my role is to train, to establish an environment of stability and structure and of course love.   And let’s not forget the carry-on of flexibility.  If I don’t take the time to pack those and map out those routines, I will eventually encounter turbulence.   I can be flying throughout my day, and all of sudden my attitude of patience is no longer working.

Some days flying as a parent and all that is required of me can be tough.  Although I don’t always enjoy wearing my military boots, I know it’s the call God has for my life, and I has their mom.

Leaving my shoes at the door

Sharing my struggles with other PW’s,  they have opened up to about their difficulties wearing the military boots. “I run the house day in and day out;  mostly it’s my rules,” one wife opened up to me.  She went on to say, “My husband shouldn’t have to deal with all the nonsense that goes on when he is home, but he does hear about it when he’s away”. It’s a catch 22. 

A few other moms voiced,” I’m everyone’s UBER. I’m regularly cleaning up messes, running to the grocery and doctors appointments. Personally, there’re times I feel I need to be in control.”  Oh, I can relate.  I have no plan to take off my “Command of Discipline” shoe.

When dad comes home, the routine may change up a bit, because now there are two parents.  During those times I have to remember that it’s not just me solo parenting it’s we. We are one, and we work together.  But subconsciously, I don’t. I  continue to wear those shoes and resume to bring order and routine.

Do I still wear those sergeant boots? You betcha!  I struggle with taking them off at times when I need to.  Every moment of every day. At times it seems like every moment I’m asking God to give me wisdom, grace, and mercy not only for my kids but me as well.

Prayer;  In Corinthians 12:10 you say, “For I am weak, then I am  strong.” Help me to find comfort that you are in control in those moments of weakness. I feel torn and stretched in so many directions that I do not know which way to go.  In the midst of my stress, may I look to you.  Give me the strength to handle areas where I feel pulled in. Thank you that I can run to You for wisdom and peace. Amen.

An update ….

That little boy that took me off course is now eleven. He is in 5th grade and is back with his mama. I miss him! He was unquestionably a challenge and full of zealous energy that required many evenings of wine. As I share with you about him, I may not have given birth to him, but I definitely felt as if he was my own. He still his.

Love for you to hop on over and join  The Takeoff and Landings Facebook  page.

How do you handle discipline in your own life as a wife of a traveling husband? Leave a comment below. I’m sure we can all learn from each other.

At 6:30 in the morning I receive a text from another pilot’s wife.  The text read,”Hey Chica, Good morning just saying Hi, let’s get together for lunch today.” I responded, “Sure absolutely!”

After hitting send on my text, I became nervous, like an elementary school girl meeting a new friend in the lunchroom. I wanted to make a good impression; I stressed over what to wear.

We had only met once,  on a lunch date that our husbands had arranged

Thankfully, she and I connected right away.  We talked about kids, husbands, families and, of course, how long we’d  been married to our pilots.  Before we knew it, our visit was flying its way into cocktail hour at the bar. But we were responsible women and had to pick up our kids from school.  So we said our goodbyes with hugs and scheduled another time to re-connect.

Meanwhile, she had befriended another pilot wife and that pilot wife befriend another pilot wife. Before you could push back an airplane and close the door, we had all become friends. All four of us text each other almost every day. Sometimes those texts will start as early at 6 am and go on till eleven at night.

I had no idea that I would be blessed with three amazing, beautiful ladies.  We make each other laugh till we pee in our pants, or spit out our drink of choice. We call and vent to each other with no worries of feeling judged. We genuinely care about each other. That can be a rarity in this culture that we live in.

Pieces of the Wedge

Maintaining friends takes hard work. Especially in this day of technology, where face to face relationships are becoming less and less. I don’t want that.

I want to have friends that I call on and say, “Hey can you come over and be with me cause my teenager is angry and I don’t know what to do? “ “Or ‘hey I know it’s late, but I need to vent, my husband is …… or I’m worried cause I’m going to the doctors, etc.” We all need friends to walk with us in the good trips and ugly trips of our lives.

I’ve learned having a wedge of friends is necessary. As I was thinking about it, I came up with an acronym for WEDGE.

W-Wine. Having wine with your girlfriend(s) is a must!

E-Excitement. When we share good news, like personal accomplishments, or our husbands upgrade, and we share their excitement.

D-Dependable. When we are facing a difficult situation on our own, we know we can depend on one another.

G-Giggles. When we find something funny to share that will make them giggle its fun to let our girlfriends know.

E-Encouragement. When we’re feeling sad, or stressed by our family or frustrated with life, in general, their encouragement is the perfect pick-me-up in moments like those.

My favorite verse in the Bible about friendship is, “A friend loves at all times.” Proverbs 17:17

A true friend will love you through a bad mood, an accident that happened to your child, a blown up microwave before a dinner party, or even a hurricane ( and your pilot is gone.

These are the WEDGE of friends that matter. I don’t know what I  would do without them.

An invaluable blessing of friends

There’ve been times when each of us have called one another and the first thing out of our mouth are, “I’m venting!  Let me cry.” We all know that whatever we say stays between us. No taking off with what we share to a different town.   I will say that we have our “textful” venting times as well.  ( those can be interesting, especially when all the emojis appear).

“On This Day” on Facebook, and it’s been exactly one year ago when my girlfriend and I met for lunch that day.  Happy Anniversary, my friend!

There’s  a quote I love that defines the friendships I have.  “We don’t meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason.”

If I were to ask a PW what is the most valuable thing to have while their hubby is away, without hesitation, they’d say friends. I couldn’t agree more.

When my husband and I made our move from Florida to Houston ( the place we now call home), I prayed I’d meet other pilot wives.   I wasn’t looking for much, just a friend to have coffee or wine with now and then.

Today as I’m writing this I know without a doubt that I didn’t meet these four ladies on accident.  I believe that God placed them in my life at just the right time.

Our prayer this week:

Dear heavenly father, I think of a quote I saw that  said, “You don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.”  My heart is blessed with the friends that you’ve given me in this season of life. For those that are searching for those blessings of friends, I just ask that you bring them a friend or two that can be there to inspire, stretch and encourage them as my friends have done for me.  Amen.

 Love for you to hop on over and join  The Takeoff and Landings Facebook  page. A place where you can find encouragement and support from a wedge of great friends.

When was the last time you wrote a letter to your husband?

Personally, I can’t remember when I wrote a letter to Jeff. At least not in the last year. But I do remember writing letters in the early years of our marriage.

These were six pages long!

In those love essays, I would tell him my frustrations of raising our two-year-old daughter,  venting about not being a good mom.  In great detail, I would tell him stories of things they had happened, both good and bad. Most of all I wanted him to know how much I missed him and I would draw little hearts all over the page for added effect.

A week or two later the mailman would deliver a letter that was addressed from Jeff. I remember opening them with excitement!

His letters were encouraging and loving. He didn’t try to solve my frustrations or give advice on how I should be a better mom (okay, maybe there were a few sentences about him trying to solve things). He would share with me about his exciting travels and how he missed being home and to see all the new adventures that our daughter was discovering.

AHHH! Those letters are priceless!

You know what? I miss those letters of communication when he was away, both in receiving and giving.

A letter then, a text today

Nowadays we communicate by text; it’s easier.

I will text him while I’m at home, or running errands or if  I have a quick question about an event or a family commitment that we have. Sometimes, I just say hi, I was thinking about you.

However, I’m embarrassed to admit I become impatient if he doesn’t respond to me immediately. Even if my text was nothing more than an emoji kiss!

In addition to my impatience  I’ve mentally packed a few more expectations in my carry-on:

1. A call asking me how I was doing or just to say, “Hi I was thinking of you.”

2. A listening ear and an understanding, loving and supportive response when we do talk.

3. Call or text starts and ends his day. (I do receive those text or calls more often than not)

As I was lugging around my bag, I began to feel the weight of that, and as I continued to carry it, I became sad the entire time Jeff was away. 

I anticipated how those conversations would go, I waited for those text of a “Good Morning Beautiful or Good night; I love you.”

Thinking about it, that was selfish of me and unfair to Jeff as well.  He had no idea of what I had packed. In doing so, I  removed the potential of loving and grateful communication and conservation with each other. No wonder I was frustrated.

I once heard that in marriage we owe everything to each other but are not owed anything to one another in return; especially in how we hope they would respond to us.

I didn’t want that.

How to let go of weighty expectations

Being a veteran pilot wife, I should know better than to expect my husband to carry the weight of how those conversations should fly.  There are things I should remember…

1. I have control over how I react to my husband’s text messages or calls and whether or not they are what I expected.

2. When I call, and my husband is not available, I need to be more understanding of what is going on in his day.  He’s busy flying and can’t answer his phone.

3. When I do call or text, and I’m venting or letting him know about an event, I need to provide him with the cliff-notes, same as if he were at home.

4. When my husband says,“ Honey, make it fast. I’m about to leave the jetway” to just say, “Okay, I love you. We’ll talk later.”

5. In all likelihood he is not dead or doesn’t want to talk to me, his phone is probably not charged, or he’s just too tired to talk at the moment.

When those negative thoughts creep in, I need to remind myself that he can only do so much when we are apart.

Quite frankly, that it’s hard to do.

Create in me an open heart of response

When I asked other wives how they communicate with their husbands on a trip many of them shared that the majority of the time they will text their spouses throughout the day. Occasionally a long text of whatever is happening at that “vital moment” of the day; maybe a call or FaceTime later in the evening.

A few wives admitted that they too, at times found themselves becoming impatient in not receiving an immediate response from their husbands.

While we never intend to be selfish or set unrealistic expectations, if all our conversations start with “I”… (I expect this, I….), that will ultimately lead to some serious engine/marriage failure!

That’s why this verse that I recently read inspires me,  “Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit with me.” ( Psalm 51:10 KJV)

When we find ourselves carrying a heavy weight of expectations, this verse reminds me that open communication starts with my heart and my spirit.  Otherwise, my conversation with my husband will be hindered.

Is that how I want my communication with Jeff to be like while he is gone?

I want to have an open heart and unobstructed view to take-off while he is away. I pray that God will renew my thoughts when the enemy hands me that carry-on of expectations.

My prayer for us this week:                                                                                                           Lord, communication is hard. It takes constant work with our husbands, especially as they travel and are away for long periods of time.  I know that you are always near and you care about all parts of our lives.  I understand that communication is essential in my marriage.  Often those expectations that I carry often lead to my frustrations.  Show me how to release those moments of heaviness that I have.  In those times of hoping that he knows what I want or prideful moments come on my radar, give me the strength to put aside everything that keeps me walking in wisdom and help me to have a clean heart and right spirit within me.  Amen.

Love for you to fly over to The Takeoff and Landings Facebook page. Where we can talk and encourage each other while living this life.

Do you ever find yourself having to make a communication connection with your pilot when he’s home?

I know I do from time to time.

Throughout our marriage, I have learned the ups and downs of talking (or sharing) with him in a way that benefits both of us. I’m an early bird communicator while is Jeff is a night owl communicator.

We have two different arrivals of waking up in the morning: I’m ready to talk around 7:30 am. I have my own personal PW(pilot wife) checklist to share, whereas Jeff is not eager to speak until at least nine or ten in the morning.

We’re definitely not flying the same flight path!

Being married to a pilot, I have come to the realization that it is important to have a strategy in making the right communication connection that gets us to the same destination!

Our cup of coffee talk

Have you heard the phrase actions speak louder than words?

Because of our different communication styles, on those mornings when Jeff is home I put those actions into practice.

I will bring him a cup of coffee in a way that he won’t experience a sudden wake of turbulence.  I won’t put the coffee cup on the nightstand next to the bed.  No, I set it gently on the small table opposite of the bed, doing my best to create a soft landing with no bumps or spills.

I communicate with coffee.

Then I walk over to his side of the bed, open up the blinds to let the sunlight in and give him a morning kiss and touch and whisper good morning.

Rather than yell, “Its time to get up, so I can make the bed!” I’ve visually communicated with action and tenderness.

If you were to ask my pilot if he enjoys his cup of communication, he would say yes, because it makes him feel appreciated and loved.

The kiss, the touch, the coffee, they were all a form of connection that works for us.

It’s all in the delivery

When talking with my husband I have learned a few flight patterns to do and not to do while he is home.

In doing so, my efforts can quickly take off in an entirely different direction than planned.

1.Don’t share that you’re ready to put the kids on the next one-way flight to “Kids are driving me crazy” town, where they stay for the duration of their remaining life.

Do say, “Honey here is a glass of (your favorite drink). When you have a moment, I’d like to share with you how I wanted to open up the emergency door, slide down to safe ground, and leave all the little people that were being rude and loud.”

2. Don’t share everything that’s going on with your friends or family all at once. Especially when he first gets up the morning or works on his schedule. BIG NO, NO!

Do reach over to touch his arm or rub your fingers through his hair and ask if you can have his undivided attention as you share the bullet points about your friends and family.

(I’m confident he will enjoy taking the time to listen to you)

3. Don’t get mad if your pilot says he forgot about something you’d mentioned earlier or was not listening to what you had just said ten minutes ago.

Do make a check-list of events or something that needs his attention in the desired time frame. If you need to write it down, so he can visually see’s what is going on.

How we approach things is very important in how we communicate with our husbands. It’s critical that everything isn’t critical, less drama, facts, figures and desired outcome.

While these are just a few of the ways I’ve learned to best communicate with my husband, please know that it may not look the same for you and your pilot.  We all have different shoes we wear when we talk with our pilots.

I have had my fair share of failed moments in wearing the best pair of shoes of communication. I’m sure there will be more.

Always sound cool on the radio;  Smooth delivery makes for better communication

As a wife of a pilot pre-planning is essential as how we want the conversation to take off. Timing is vital in how we want to steer the direction of what it is we would like to share.

I will be first to admit there are times in my marriage where I forget how my words will affect my husband. I must be careful in how I approach my thoughts and concerns to Jeff.

While it is great to have something to say,  it is also important to think about it first. 

Recently, I asked other PW’s(pilot wives) to share how they handle communication when their husbands are home.

“It would never go over well for me to tell my husband what we are or are not going to do.  If we disagree on something and yet he sees how important it is to me, and I’ve respectfully discussed it, he always supports me,” one wife shared.

I could relate to what she said, about respect in voicing our thoughts to each other.

When I tell Jeff about our son’s behavior or an issue with the house, and I have presented a clear reason for my decision, he has supported me.  I have done the same in return.

A few other wives said that they never force their husbands to talk when he says I don’t want to talk about this right now, or if he says, I’m working on my schedule, let’s talk later.

Y’all when Jeff says that he doesn’t want talk, etc., I will find myself (at times) wanting to communicate with some shoe stomping. But I have learned to walk away with grace and try again at a better time. 

“The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words.” Proverbs 15-28 NLTThis verse is an excellent reminder that we should be careful with our words and how we respond with an answer.   We, I, should do so in a wise and timely way.  If I babble it will just cause a reaction that I did not want and was not prepared for.

It often leads to sudden relational  turbulence in the form of an unwanted argument

Do we want that? I know I don’t.

Respect is like a small carry-on, easy to deal with when traveling.  A trunk of frustrations and disrespect is a lot harder to handle on a daily basis.

Communication is a choice.

You and I have a choice in the shoes we put on.  They can look ugly and dirty (complaining or mean) or well-taken care of and fit well (kind, respectful and loving).

I  have a choice in how I wish to communicate to my husband.

There was a quote I read the other day, “People might not always tell you how they feel about you, but they will show you by the way they treat you.” 

When I bring Jeff a cup of coffee in the morning, it’s telling him that I love him. I start the day with the right shoe.  I enjoy that!

In those early mornings when I wake up before my husband does, it gives me time to pray, enjoy my coffee and ask God to show me ways I can better communicate with my husband as well as to be careful not to spill the coffee.

My prayer  for you and for me :

Lord, help me to love my husband the way you show us, love.  Give me strength and understanding each day. Give me a tender heart. A heart that doesn’t keep a record of wrongdoings.  May I be wise and appropriate in a way that gives my husband the respect he deserves.  In James 1:19  it is read, “You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry.”  I pray that as a couple we are careful in our words and listen with thoughtfulness. I ask that we are patient and understanding of each others time. Help me to be able to communicate love to my husband. Amen.

Love for you to fly over to The Takeoff and Landings Facebook page. Where we can talk and encourage each other while living this life.